Day 72: pepperoncini on pizza

On my way home from school I picked up pizza from The Hideaway. Last second, before I left, I asked for a side of pepperoncinis for my pizza. It was a small thing, but the saucy spice of these peppers brought wonder to my taste buds.

Also, toilet paper is sold out everywhere. Just a friendly PSA!

Today, I learned we are moving online for teaching after we come back from spring break. People are panicking but also thinking of how fast the virus moves. Hoping we all stay healthy.

Day 57: Puppy Therapy

Today was the second day I’ve brought Shiloh, now nearing 11 weeks, to the university. I’m grateful to live only about ten minutes away, so I can bring her and take her home in a feasible amount of time.

When I walk her though campus, the joy I see on strangers’ expressions and friends’ faces brings me the feeling of wonder. It’s almost like a wonder domino effect. Shiloh brings delight to someone, I witness their faces, the delight spreads to me.

We all need more puppy therapy at busy college campuses.

Day 50: The Power of Money

I’m struggling to place wonder tonight and I think this feeling engages with what I’m calling the power of money.

Short story: I need a car. My car is a 1995 Jeep Grand Cherokee that I love. But it struggles to hit highway speeds, leaks a mass amount of power steering fluid, has a broken radio, taped on headlight, to name a few. But these aesthetic components don’t really bother me. To me, the car has a roughness, an edge that I admire. It’s not prissy or needy. I love my car in the way I love an old friend. When you love something like that it’s easy to pull back criticism or judgment.

I have needed a new car for a while. But I’ve postponed getting one. However, now is the time to get one even though I make below poverty as a graduate teaching assistant.

But I have access to FAFSA government loans. These loans are easy to take out. Almost too easy.

Today I had to take out more for a very strong down payment I’m putting on a beautiful new (to me) car.

This act has left me restless. I’ve wrestled with not doing it, then going back to doing it (getting the car). Money stress has the power we feed it.

After I had time to think about this decision (in the shower, no less) I was able to mute the fears and worries about loans and think: yes. Yes. Get the car. It will bring you endless memories and safety and adventure. Money comes and go. Money will come.

The thing is, I’m temporarily in a tough spot as a PhD student. But I only have a couple years left. So I guess I’m arriving at two wonders today: money has power; but our minds have control over how much power to give external forces like money.

And—never doubt the stillness of a good hot shower to receive the answer you’ve been searching for.